


There's No Remedy For Memory

by lonelymisfit



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fraternity, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, American Football, Divorce, Doppelganger, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Law School, M/M, Mutual Pining, Second Chances, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:22:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29633211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelymisfit/pseuds/lonelymisfit
Summary: My only wish is to meet you again in every life - Shisui Uchiha.
Relationships: Uchiha Itachi/Original Character(s), Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Shisui
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based on the song by Lana Del Rey // Dark Paradise. Title also comes from the song. 
> 
> I promise it will start making sense as we go along so please trust the process.

The sun was at its lowest peak. Not too long now and the sky would be enveloped in darkness, but not the kind of darkness that is associated with people's misconstrued conception of evil, but rather the kind that we as people perceive as pure and good. This type of darkness was illuminated by the so-called savior in the sky - the moon.

We believe that because the moon provides light to this shallow place we call our home, it is some sort of God, some sort of emblem that signifies to us - the existence of good and that it prevails in the end. 

Darkness is overcome with light. It is nothing but a sheer notion that one cannot disagree with, because as they say, everything does come in pairs. We cannot have darkness without light and we cannot have light if it was not for darkness. Though, if such was the case then how do all these misguided souls explain the darkness that never truly sees the light from within? 

How does one explain the type of darkness that slowly latches itself onto your very being or festers around the one place that is supposed to be your light - the heart? 

He tried countless times to find the answer or to even come up with a sensible explanation for the raging thoughts that flock his mind. It was simply no use though, because no matter the scenario, the conclusion was always the same. 

He fixes the off fitting jacket on his shoulder and straightens his tie in the mirror. There, staring back at him was a shell of a man, an empty vessel with almost transparent skin and sunken eyes marred with endless misery and insomnia.

They see nothing but shapes and shadows that dazzle the intent of things in their true form. Because that was what the world had become to him now.

Nothing but insignificant objects that hold zero meaning- just colourless, bland and unimportant. He takes a shaky breath once more, inhaling deep and closing his eyes. He hopes every time he opens them that the world would be different, but it never was. 

It was his first time wearing a suit too. He didn't think this would be the time or place for it either. The universe has a funny way of doing things he supposes.

A dry laugh almost escapes him and it feels normal somehow. He hasn't been able to show any sort of emotion since last Tuesday, two forty seven am. He supposes his life stopped that day and what he sees now, what he's looking at right now is a fake world.

Something he's sure is all but a dream - or maybe even a nightmare. He just needs to wake up, yet somehow he could not. 

He takes a look around their - _his_ flat (now) - even words from his sub conscious mock him. A desperate shriek he did not know he kept in, escapes his lungs. Every corner of this house screams his name, everywhere has his scent and his laugh - still so loud and echoey, still so bright and full of life. 

The front door opens and for a moment it is as if he is replaying some distant memory in his head. Because this beautiful boy- his beautiful boy is stood on the threshold with his arms outstretched, he is smiling like he always did, eyes crinkling to the ends and dimples sinking into his milky skin.

Itachi closes his eyes raking a weak cry from within. When he reopens them no one is there because of course it was a sick joke the universe throws at him. He wants to scream somehow but he figures it will only make this seem even realer than it was. 

So instead, he fixes his jacket one last time and strolls out the door briskly. There is no time to think. There is no more time for anything anymore. 

There was no light once you have been consumed in darkness. There was only darkness and pain. 

Itachi took one last look at this so called savior in the sky and scuffed. The moon could not be a savior if it could not provide light to someone in the darkness. It was a harsh reality he had learnt to live with. This world was filled with nothing but darkness, nothing but the shattered dreams of his lover and the stench of his hopes that linger in the air.

Itachi despised the moon because even in the darkest of hours it still managed to shine bright. He simply could not glow any longer. his aura, his hope, his light was gone the day Shisui left him in this cruel world all alone in the darkness. 


	2. Your soul is haunting me

**_5 years later_ **

  
  


My mornings consisted of being awakened by the feeling of wetness on my feet. Long, cold wetness. Long, cold, sticky wetness.

There was a time in my life when the wetness that greeted me in those mornings was a pleasant surprise. Moist lips around my solid cock, or drying saliva on my bare torso, now it was just a pool of sadness that crushed the illusions of my past and it almost made me never want to be awake again.

I knew who was the culprit to my every morning dilemma though, and it would always go the same exact way. 

"Charlie not now," I would call knowing it never eases up until I open my eyes. "Fine, I'm up!" Only then would he stop the consistent licking and sit obediently on my lap. I decided a while ago that I needed company since I was alone in this big ole house. 

Some of my decisions usually occurred irrationally and since he was not there to tell me off I had to act on my own instinct. I had to have the pup from the very first time I saw him through that glass window.

To my defense, he was adorable and it was justifiable enough on my decision to take him home. He was also energetic, he never let me sleep in, he shits everywhere, he never leaves me alone and he was so loud.

Beside the dog being an absolute commitment for me it was the one thing _he_ wanted when we first moved in together. It was another step forward in "our future" according to him. He always wanted a dog.

Which is why I got one despite my efforts of trying to convince myself that I got him solely because I thought he was simply _cute_. 

"Alright I know you need to pee. Hold on," almost robot like I would make my way to the front door to let him out,

"Come on boy!" Charlie would excitedly follow. I often wonder when the excitement for him ends. For me it was three months ago, when I bought him. 

Finding solitude was quite the chore when all of my attention needed to be focused on a dog. Still, there were some things that managed to get me out of that mindset, if only for a few moments at least.

One such thing happened to be my mobile phone. I use it to go over my daily itinerary drafted by Sara. 

Sometimes I look at the messages Kylo sends me but never know what to reply. He has grown accustomed to my lack of luster I suppose. He never mentions it and I never bring it up either.

The most effective way I use my phone though is by simply pressing one knob and getting to hear his voice again. 

A while back they sent his unpaid bill to the house and I paid it. Another irrational decision but I kept paying it. His phone was still tucked in my bedside table untouched. I would draw my own phone to my ear and listen to his number go to voicemail. 

_You've reached Shisui star QB and Kansas finest. Do your thing after the beep and maybe I'll just call you back._

After the twentieth time on repeat and my cheeks are fully soaked with my own pitiful tears I would finally put my phone away and go look for Charlie.

He would skip happily over when he spotted me by the door. We would curl up on the big sofa and watch the morning news until it was time for me to get ready for work.

It was an irrational decision to get a dog but I was forever grateful I did not have to be stuck in this huge space alone. 

My mornings consisted of the wrong type of wetness and my day was filled with the same two voices that came to me like muscle memory.

"A few messages sir, you're requested for an impromptu meeting at eleven with Annmarie," Sara, my very young, fresh out of university assistant, would not stop to breathe and bombard me as soon as I walk in the door.

"Also Mr. Mcallister called about the settlement date. I told him you'd return his calls as soon as you're in." I usually just nod to indicate I understood what she was saying. I would curtly dismiss her when I approached my office, slipping close the door so I did not have to hear her voice again. 

I would wonder briefly if she really thought I was as gruff as I presented myself to her. It would often fall short when the phone on my table would go off constantly. It keeps me occupied though so I never complain.

Kylo would call ever so often when I have completely immersed myself in work and demand I accompany him on a night out. It did not always turn out pleasant because I knew why he suggested it in the first place.

He tends to worry even though I keep telling him I was fine. Somewhere along those years he started to believe me. Now our outings consisted of mainly Kylo's poor attempts at impressing women and less attempts at constantly asking me if I was alright.

Kylo was talking to some bird he met while getting drinks by the bar. I could see him from where he'd left me almost half an hour ago, looking all but ridiculous and dad like, desperately trying to catch the attention of some poor soul. He was bracketing this girl with one hand the other is on his hips. The girl seems interested enough because she was playing with the ends of her hair.

Something I have learnt about the female species over the years. Or maybe because I was around football players a lot. They knew a thing or two about women. They often spoke like they did. It reminded me of back in school when Kylo would try to bed girls in the countless parties I accompanied him with.

His behaviour always made me gag but it was something I would not have changed if given the chance. Brazen by my inner monologue for too long I had actually forgotten the initial reason I was sitting over here while Kylo was across the bar. 

"So how's work 'tachi?" Suddenly the urge to smile crept heavily on my shoulders for I did not want him to feel like I was purposely avoiding him. Even though I was.

But even five years later and it was something I could not quite learn. Smiling shows affection, smiling shows consideration, admiration. None of those things I felt anymore. It was not the boy's fault per se it was just not something I knew how to do. It is why I had settled with a small upturn of my mouth.

Feeling my lips curl upward, I watch the boy and his reaction. To me it was just a movement but to him it looked like I had just hung the moon. He was hanging off my presence like a moth to flames. I could not quite tell if I liked it or not.

Of course I understood that the stranger meant no harm and he was only trying to converse with me because naturally, that was human instinct. That is why he was sitting so close to me and asking about my job.

The thing that was most troubling to me though was the term the stranger used to address me. I've not heard that since - well in a long time. And again I know the stranger means no harm, probably thought it would sooth the awkwardness and make him feel comfort because nicknames, pet names, shortening someone's name makes it feel more personal.

That is not what I wanted to _feel_. It was only a name and what I did feel somehow enraged something within me. To hear it fall from someone else's mouth was like a slap in the face, a gentle reminder of the past and exactly why it was the past. 

"Let's not ruin this night by talking about rich people who pay me to make their bad deeds go away," I did the only thing I knew to do. Cause a distraction. He seemed pleased when I slipped my hand to grip his thigh because he moved in closer, the question on his lips all but forgotten for sure. Mission accomplished on my part once again.

Besides, talking about myself only made my ego grow ten times bigger. If possible. 

"I'll just be back. We need drinks and Kylo isn't back yet." I've still got him eating out of my hand because his eyes are glazed over as I brush up close to his ear before standing and making my way rather quickly over to Kylo by the bar. He does nothing but comply, silently anticipating my next move. 

"Why did you leave me alone with him?" Kylo does not even notice my presence; he is still fully committed to the clueless brunette leant against the wall. She has no idea what she was in for with Kylo. I've been friends with this maniac for ten years and Kylo still has not managed to master the craft that is women.

His heart is in the right place, his words not so much. I did nothing to enable his case either when I couldn't help but to shove at his shoulder making his beer slosh all over the girl's pretty dress. I was in a far more pressing dilemma than she was, in my defense. 

"I'm so sor-" before Kylo can finish he collects a slap across his face and the brunette girl is stomping off. He is still in shock and holding onto his reddened cheeks when he turns to glare at me. 

"Not again!" 

"At Least your clothes are dry this time,"I tried to reason while watching Kylo rub his bruised jaw. I wanted to apologise but watching him this way was far more entertaining. 

"I was this close bastard," he makes the gesture with his hands. He did not stand a chance with that girl and he knows it. Truth often hurts I would always say, which is why I figured Kylo would not have made it a day in my field of work. 

"You're thirty. You could be that girl's father," we both occupied the empty stools by the bar. It was easier to banter back and forth with Kylo. It was the one thing I liked when I was practically forced at these weekly outings. 

Sparing a once over at the direction where I left stranger only revamped my emotions towards Kylo and why I hated going out all together. It had overwhelmed my delight at actually leaving my house.

I decided to make the most of it anyway and focus all my energy on the bartender coming over to us with two more cold beers in her hands. 

"You are right. I could be that girl's daddy. A Lot of people are into that these days, excuse you."

"You are repulsive. I could put you in jail just remember that." 

Kylo takes a swing at his beer, "You'd also find a way to bail me out twat" _Touché_.

There was not a thing I would not do for him and he knows it. He has been using it to his advantage against me all these years. 

"The cons of being a defense attorney," Kylo just nudges at my shoulder playfully. 

"We should head back to the table, lover boy is getting angsty."

"Fuck you by the way. For leaving me alone with him," the boy is sitting almost shyly, with his head casted on his fingers tangled in his lap. His dark curly hair falling over to hide his face.

A picture of innocence and to think Kylo wanted me to taint this boy who is probably only doing this because he cannot afford to pay his tuition. 

This bar was crowded with people like him. Coincidently located near a university and about a stone's throw away from Kylo's office because after all, that was all my life consisted of. Clichés. And the mix of people made it all but surreal.

On one hand there was a group of middle aged men who came in here to either forget their current life dilemmas or flaunt their money to university students. The next hand simply consists of young people in desperate need to make quick money.

The situation made me remember a time when I was almost like that. Thinking that law school was a death sentence rather than the correct career path. Not being able to find solitude because my days were spent buried in a book, stomach empty and when it was full it was most likely leftovers from the restaurant I worked part time at. 

It was a time when I wanted to give up everything because I could not afford to pay rent anymore and the boy laying next to me appeared skinnier because he was hardly eating. A time when I would do everything to put food in his belly so he never loses his glow or the smile on his face.

I remember law school so clearly but most of all I remember _him_ so clearly. All of my memories centered around him and there was not a time I regretted ever experiencing.

What I would give if I could just go back. And it is not something a successful man would ever say. Dismal days make a man sure, they toughen you up, make you stronger, more tolerable, more immune. It builds character, but successful men would tell you they never want to go back to it. Except me. I would do anything to go back in time.

I have got money and no one to spend it on, have a house with no one to share it with, a bed with no one in it, and a heart with a giant hole in it. It seems ironic when people work so hard to get what they want in life then only to realise what we wanted we had all along, doesn't it? 

Guess it's true when they say, "you don't miss what you have until it's gone" and, "you can't have what you lost." It was something that clawed its way deep inside my brain every second, every minute, every hour and every day. 

"He's your type," Kylo says hoping it somehow justifies why this boy is sitting across the room waiting for me obediently. I am not a Christian Grey sadist who preys on poor people and who thinks sex and money could win someone over.

Also, not every boy with _curly_ hair was my type. I did not have a type. 

"You are so fucking dense," I knew I had to make this right. It was not something I was particularly comfortable with which is why I made my way over to the boy still waiting. Kylo evidently follows. 

"How old are you?" His eyes shine as he's slouched over, almost guarded or afraid. I really do not blame him.

He was sucked into this situation just as much as I was. One minute I was there and the next a boy was sitting next to me clawing desperately on the tailored suit I wore begging for attention.

"T-twenty one," he stutters and at that point I was not sure if the boy was scared of me or just scared in general. 

"And what is your major?" 

"Pre med sir"

Kylo is shocked and so he replies, "Did he just call you sir?" While resting his half drunken beer on the table, "Of course you are the one to get someone who's into the kinky shit" 

"Shut up Ky!" Enraged. I could feel it seeping slowly into my veins but still turn my attention back to the boy, "And what is your name?" 

"Trevor sir" 

"You really do not need to call me sir, Itachi is fine" the boy smiles and this time it is not fake, or plastic.

Of all people, I could tell a genuine smile from a fake. It also further proved my assumptions on the boy. 

"I'm sorry but I'm not interested and I know you aren't either. Here's something for your trouble. Promise me I will never see you in this bar again?" Trevor takes the money all too quickly almost like he could not believe he got money for doing absolutely nothing and says his thanks.

With the words promise smeared from his lips the boy is gone as fast as my money. 

"You're a good man,Tashy" Kylo smiles and pats me on the back, "sometimes I think too good." 

"Someone once told me that it is not a good thing to do the right thing but it was the right thing to do the right thing." I could always hear his voice repeating the words.

He was so proud to speak them, always so bright that it would cause a smile to appear on my face. 

"Is that some famous author or summat?" Kylo does not even know what he is saying but it was too late for him to realise. I knew I should not have said it in the first place because now I cannot stop whatever it was that was coming out of my mouth. After all these years and it was a saying that stays with me everyday. Almost like a prayer or a sacred mantra. 

"I suppose he would have been," the sting in my throat only grew and the blurriness crept up quickly and gathered in my eyes. It still makes me tear up even after all this time, "but he was too good for this world, so he wasn't," Kylo pauses and soon enough figures what I was trying to say.

He loved writing, he loved words, he loved so many things, but I mostly loved his love for curling up on our couch with a tattered copy of a paperback book nestled in his hands. I loved the way he'd smile when he noticed my presence in the room, I loved when he would read me verses of his favourite lines and I loved when he would underline the words that reminded him of me.

"He would have been the best." Kylo settles raising his beer to the air, "To Shisui" even hearing his name from another mouth made me shudder. 

I have not yet learnt how to deal with that but still I raise my hand nonetheless with the beer. Truth is, I am supposed to be fine, there was no use in letting other people think I was not. It only causes more problems than I would like. It was better to keep things hidden sometimes.

Letting people know how you really felt only opens wounds, it festers an infection and spreads like wildfire. Definitely not worth the energy. Definitely not worth the depth of explanation. It was one of the few things I've actually learnt over these years.

It was not necessarily a mask because then that would mean I would have to be untrue to myself, almost like I was pretending. It was more like a layer I'd like to think, or rather quite a few layers that have to be peeled apart before reaching to the center - Almost like an onion. I was an onion. But the question still remains though, who was brave enough to peel back those layers? Then I thought to myself the one person who truly knew me left me alone. 


	3. Your face is like a melody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shisui is more than meets the eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> flashbacks will be in italics so that it's not confusing.

_ It was a Thursday when they first met. Itachi was walking to the coffee shop on campus when he heard someone yelling and before he knew it, there was a ball in his face.  _

_ The force smacked him hard to the floor and the stranger is by his side in seconds.  _

_ "I'm so sorry I didn't see you there," he panicked but his voice somehow felt soothing. He sounds like one of those voices you hear when you call a sex hotline. All suave and sexy.  _

_ Suddenly Itachi is pulled to his feet, head still ringing from the ball's impact; his eyes are forced shut for a few more seconds. The stranger is still so close, his voice still so very loud and echoing. _

_ "Are you hurt?" Sex hotline voice says which makes him peek his eyes open and what he saw almost knocks the air out his lungs. It was like a second ball rained down from the heavens and smacked him in the face again. _

_ This boy - this man was God - like, he's all lean and muscly, skin kissed by the sun's natural light, hands that have never seen a bad day, so silky smooth running along Itachi's pale to comparison skin. Eyes that pierce a searing hot hole in the center of his chest. It was almost like looking into the sun.  _

_ You have to look away because it was detrimental, yet you cannot help but keep staring at it because it was something so fascinating, and out of reach that you have to question why you have to look away in the first place.  _

_ And lastly, all Itachi remembers was curls. Lots and lots of messy curly hair, almost like those statuses you see of chiseled men with defined locks in museums. The only thing he was missing was his leafy crown. Was he a Greek god? Was he someone that folks told stories about and only existed in someone's imagination? He was like a fucking magazine model brought to life.  _

_ Itachi decided then that it was all a dream. The impact of the ball knocked him out and this was heaven. This is the first thing you see when you enter. An angel. He was an angel.  _

_ The boy giggles almost becoming shy, consciously sweeping his hair out of his eyes. Those eyes that have probably caused riots and burnt cities to the ground.  _

_ "I think you may have a concussion. I'm not an angel. I'm just Shisui," he's Shisui the Angel and he's here to take Itachi to eternal bliss. They are going to ride off into the sunset on a white horse and live life as Angels in the sky and it will be great.  _

_ "I'm sure it will be, but first let's get you to a doctor." Shisui the Angel leads the way and Itachi is definitely loving heaven so far.  _

_ A few minutes, maybe hours later there is a small bed with white sheets and pristine clear floors; with the strong smell of disinfectant in the air. No Angels in sight though, and the thought only strikes him then that along the way he must have done something wrong in heaven so now he has somehow ended up in hell. Which means, there is no more Shisui the Angel. _

_ Someone enters the room just as he was thinking about letting it all go and start crying into this pillow.  _

_ "Ah Itachi you're awake. Good. I'd like to go over some reports with you," carefully watching the man in a giant white coat come over to the bed with a clipboard in his hand. He looks like a doctor and not at all what Itachi was expecting Lucifer to look like. _

_ "You took quite the hit back there. Luckily, your boyfriend brought you to me just in time."  _

_ "My boyfriend?" Maybe this was a test. Maybe Lucifer was testing him to see if he belongs in hell or not. He is known to be mischievous so of course Itachi decides to play along. Lucifer simply cannot win and he needs to go back to heaven. He has to see Shisui again.  _

_ "The lovely gentleman outside with the football uniform?" He says it in a way that suggests Itachi should know what he was talking about even though he hadn't the slightest clue.  _

_ It was amnesia, it has to be Itachi thinks, he has a boyfriend that he does not remember. This test is proving to be more difficult than he was anticipating.  _

_ His eyes betray his body at that moment and takes a chance to look through the blinds of the glass window only to see standing outside Shisui the Angel dressed like a football player.  _

_ "That's him! My angel. I'm still in heaven. Thank God. Literally."  _

_ "Alright you clearly need some more rest. I need you to take it a bit easy." The doctor comes over somewhat affected by his answer and does whatever doctors do and the next thing Itachi knew he was losing vision and everything turned black.  _

_ It was the second time this has happened now, only this time he was even more disoriented than the first, and he was in a significantly darker room. In a hospital bed. _

_ Fuck. And his head hurts so fucking much. What the fuck happened? The last thing he remembers is walking to go get coffee and then - his eyes widened with realisation.  _

_ He remembers the dead man who launched a fucking ball to his face. Itachi was going to kill him, he was going to hunt him down and rip off his skin and eat -  _

_ "You're awake," Itachi's own skin almost fell from his bones at the voice. He was under the impression that he was alone. Clearly, he was not.  _

_ "You scared me," it was hard at that point to make out the person's face but it was the voice that gave some of it away. He could never forget that voice.  _

_ "Do I know you? Why are you here?" The stranger laughs lightly and straightens in his chair to the corner of the room.  _

_ "You don't remember anything?" Itachi decided nodding would be easiest since in all honesty he just wanted to hear the man speak some more.  _

_ "I really didn't mean to. I was just practicing. We've got a game coming up and you just came out of nowhere," he could not tell if his face gave it away but he felt so light inside.  _

_ The man's voice took him somewhere tropical, it made Itachi forget everything somehow. Everything but his voice, which would explain the next words that came pouring out of his helpless mouth.  _

_ "Listen, that's all behind us now. Doesn't matter anyway, I have taken balls to the face before," It was until Itachi heard his laugh that he realised two things that day.  _

_ One, he would probably do anything to hear his laugh again and two, was simply that he had lost all control of his thoughts when it came to this stranger and he did not mind it one bit.  _

_ "You're funny," there's a smug look on his face and Itachi also decided then that he could not allow this man to know what he did to his emotions.  _

_ He was definitely one of those types that knew the power they held and took pride on the victims that fell for their charm. Even though Itachi was one of this man's victims he was not about to give him the satisfaction. _

_ "I bet you have, no doubt, but I'm still sorry my balls hit your pretty face," he is also a comedian apparently. Unfortunately, not everyone is cut out for the business. _

_ Itachi did not even manage a chuckle and not because he genuinely did not think the boy's joke was funny but because he was still so entranced by his eyes. Was it the colour of the sun setting over the horizon? Or was it the colour of the burning wood by a fireplace?  _

_ Again he did not need to fill this man's ego any more than it was filled. So, Itachi scowled, positively in disgust. "I see it's only funny when you say it. A bit biased if I do say so." _

_ He briefly wondered if he slapped him would the mark mar his pretty skin or would his eyes change deeper brown or brighter red?  _

_ "If you don't mind sir but as you can see I'm clearly fine. You could leave now." The man lifts his eyebrows amused and then the smug look is back.  _

_ "I've got you calling me sir on our first date imagine what you'd call me on the second." And to think Itachi thought he was an angel. He is definitely Lucifer's work and all Itachi wanted to do was sin.  _

_ "I'm literally on a bed." It was meant as an implication of his pain and how this smug bastard has the audacity to flirt with him even in this state, but to the man it meant that Itachi was  _ **_flirting_ ** _ with him.  _

_ "Is that an invitation?" Stranger stands making his face completely visible to him now. _

_ The fluorescent lights do no justice to his eyes but they still twinkle, they still hold mischief and sin, so much sin, but not as much as his lips do. It was like wine flowing for the Gods and all Itachi wanted to do was get drunk.  _

_ "Get over yourself. Not everyone is immune to your 1970's pick up lines. Now can you please leave? I need to get some sleep." He was already by the door.  _

_ Almost as if Itachi's words only ricocheted off his marble stone body and hit him in the face again. His helmet in one hand and the other on the door knob, the back of his jersey that reads, Uchiha 07.  _

_ "You'd be begging me to jump in your bed. No 1970's pick up lines needed," he chuckles almost sure of himself, "goodnight Itachi" and just like that he's gone.  _

*

_ It was days after when Kylo found out what had happened.  _

_ "You were in the hospital?" Kylo is currently by his laptop on the desk strolling through facebook posts from a party he was at last night. A party Itachi was not invited to because he was stuck studying. _

_ "Yes." _

_ There was no point in hiding it anymore. Kylo had heard through the vines that some football player had rescued a poor sod from a near death experience they were calling it. _

_ He was the laughing stock of many yet, it did not seem to affect him in any way. Let him have his moment, it dies just as soon as it starts. Itachi was not very much of a social influencer to begin with. He did not care what people thought of him, to simply put it. He knew what really happened and that was all that mattered.  _

_ "And it is because a football player hit you in the face with his balls?" Of course Kylo is taking the piss and for that he decided to entertain him.  _

_ "That is what I said." _

_ "And you want me to search him up?" Kylo turns in his chair to look at him sitting on his bed, "Why?" He asks suspiciously, already coming up with different reasons in his head why Itachi would want to find out this certain information in the first place.  _

_ "Because I want to report him," he settles because the real reason is far more ridiculous than anything. Again no one must know how this Uchiha 07 fella has been on his mind since the incident.  _

_ "A week has passed and you want to report him now? Are you insane?"  _

_ "I have rights Ky and you do not get to tell me when I am comfortable enough to be okay with reporting an incident." This would have all been avoided if Itachi was not so lazy to walk all the way over to the library. _

_ Kylo was the only other option with a working laptop so there was no other choice but to endure his interrogation. Kylo does not put up much of a fight he just sighs heavily and goes back to his laptop.  _

_ "You said Uchiha?" He asks mildly curious, "Is this him?" Kylo says again, shifting so Itachi could finally see the screen _ _.  _

_ Staring right back is a picture of the smug bastard that did this to him. Self consciously he rubs at the disappearing lump on his head.  _

_ "That's him. The bastard," he chimed almost too quickly but backtracks just the same because it had to be known that he had zero interest in actually being interested in this man.  _

_ "He's hot," Kylo says almost shocked, clicking on other photos of him. "He's quarterback, of course." Itachi had no idea what any of those words meant. His uniform is nice though. _

_ "Says here his full name is Shisui Uchiha and get this, he's an english major." Kylo sounds like he's the one with the fat crush. Itachi does not blame him. Shisui did have that sort of effect. _

_ "There is a game tonight. Do you want to go?" Kylo questions, looking expectantly at him like he already knew the answer.  _

_ "Why would I want to go to his game?" He really tried to make himself seem disinterested but all Kylo did was smile.  _

_ "So tonight at seven?" Something bubbled in his stomach at the possibility of getting to see the man again. He never had to speak the words but he knew Kylo understood. He always did.  _

  
  


_ *  _

_ "Do you think we should get something to eat before we show up there?" Itachi questions feeling uneasy as they leave Kylo's dorm. _

_ The nerves were starting to kick in, inching closer to the time when he was going to be face to face with Shisui again.  _

_ "We can eat afterwards. If my calculations are right if Shisui is any good then the game would be over sooner than later," Kylo relays as they make their way down the rooms and into the pathway leading them to the field.  _

_ When they arrived the place was obviously crowded. There are people screaming, clearly enthusiastic about the game. Itachi spotted a few people in the crowd with signs that clearly indicated that Shisui had a lot of fans. He had to roll his eyes.  _

_ "Do you see him?" Kylo is watching the field where some of the players are practicing. So far Itachi doesn't spot the familiar jersey or number so he shakes his head when Kylo looks at him.  _

_ Trying to distract himself, Itachi makes it known that they should have eaten before they came because the power bar he stole from Kylo three hours ago isn't holding up anymore. Kylo knew better than to argue and scurried off to the concession stands. _

_ A player on the field definitely caught Itachi's attention though. He was all black moussed hair and exotic. He was definitely more defined than Shisui in terms of size, his jaw taking up most of his face. He lifts a hand to the crowd and Itachi follows his movements to a girl sitting a few rows above him in the stands.  _

_ She's definitely one of the most beautiful women Itachi has even seen in his life. Were all football players Greek Gods? And were all their significant others princes and princesses? Itachi feels like he's missing out on some joke.  _

_ He hears Shisui before he sees him. The noise in the stadium is deafening and the girl with the "Uchiha" poster rises from her seat chucking it up in the air. Itachi's heart stops. Slowly he turns to the field to see Shisui run out while blowing kisses to the crowd. Itachi is glad he can't spot him from this far in the stands.  _

_ He looks even more radiant than Itachi remembers. He really cannot explain it but Shisui has an aura surrounding him that he cannot seem to shake. It's like a force, a magnet that keeps pushing and pulling at every single vein in Itachi's body. _

_ He's like an addiction somehow, a bad habit that cannot go away. Itachi swallows as he watches Shisui go over to the other black haired Greek God. They're all huddled together and he finally has a chance to breathe.  _

_ Kylo comes back shortly after the game starts with hot dogs and soda. Itachi is too entranced at Shisui moving so gracefully along the field to notice his presence much.  _

_ The final bell rings and the crowd erupts in heavy cheers. They won the game. Itachi smiles even though he had zero clue what was happening except for Shisui's team winning in the end.  _

_ "Victory party at the frat!" Jawline Greek God says making the crowd go into a frenzy. Itachi timidly turns to Kylo about to ask if they should go to the party as well but his face is already in a fixed smile nodding his head to indicate his answer.  _

_ They walk into Sigma Chi fraternity house at nine pm. It was already a fucking mess. People scattered the lawns, men with orange and blue painted faces; the signature colour of the Kansas Armadillos football team. This is the first time Itachi has been to a frat party.  _

_ Kylo however is an expert and also a crowd favourite. Everyone that sees him seems to know who he is, he's calling out to people Itachi has never seen and it was like watching on the sidelines from a bad teenage movie.  _

_ Any minute now he's sure he'll get thrown in the pool or Kylo will leave him helplessly and alone in a corner only to then realise that sulking in a party made no sense and then decide to drink himself to oblivion.  _

_ "Want something to drink?" Kylo calls over the music not waiting for him to answer, "I'll be back. Stay here," he is already walking off leaving Itachi to fend for himself. Just like he thought he would. Where's that pool then?  _

_ Itachi laughs at his inner thoughts while making his way through the masses. With any luck he'll find Shisui, maybe brush past him in the halls where he'd stop to apologise only to be surprised that Itachi was the same boy he bumped into the other day. He'd smile and they'd fall in love.  _

_ "Is there somewhere quiet I can go?" Itachi asks one of the meatier boys he spots in the space he deemed as a "man cave" since the plasma TV is mounted on the walls and full glass ashtrays litter the coffee table.  _

_ "Check the room man there's bound to be one empty," Itachi tries to school his face when the boy winks at him. "Do you want me to show you where they are?" He continues only agitating Itachi further.  _

_ "That's alright. I'll manage. I'm expecting someone." Lie.  _

_ He makes his way up the stairs being careful about swinging open a door and being scarred for life. There was a double door to the end of the hall when he stood atop the stairs. All the other rooms were single doors and stood horizontal to each other.  _

_ Naturally, it did strike him as odd and poked at his curious nature. It's why he doesn't hesitate to walk up briskly and pull on the handles to open the doors. It was additional stairs that took Itachi up to the attic.  _

_ A library. It was a bloody library. Itachi could tell not many people had been up here, the floors littered in dust and the air smelt of rotting paper and mildew. He walks over the shelves skipping through the book titles.  _

_ "I'd spent all my time up here if I was a part of this shit frat," Itachi said to no one in particular.  _

_ "Who's there?" Itachi jumped at the voice. He wasn't expecting someone to be here. To the end of the row in section C - F he followed the voice only to come face to face with Shisui sitting on the window sill looking scared out of his mind.  _

_ "I thought you were a ghost," he states feeling relieved it was a living breathing person. He also seemed to relax because of the familiar face. Itachi doesn't have to reintroduce himself because he knew Shisui remembers who he was.  _

_ "What are you doing here?" Itachi asked annoyed as if Shisui was trespassing on his land. He was just a tad bit disappointed that this haven had been discovered by someone else before him. He imagined it was how Christopher Columbus felt.  _

_ "The same reason you're here," was Shisui's reply. Itachi thought about it for a second before he deflated and joined Shisui on the window's edge.  _

_ They sat in silence for a while just looking out into the open night sky while heavy music thumped below them. The truth is this is the only reason Itachi was here in the first place. He wanted to be with Shisui. _

_ The thing is, he would have never expected to find him in a dusty attic when there was a party in his honour right downstairs. It didn't make sense.  _

_ "Congratulations by the way," Itachi started off slow and it probably was the right thing to say as Shisui turned his head so quick in his direction he thought he had whiplash. "On the game that is."  _

_ "You were there?" Shisui sounded genuinely surprised by that fact and by then Itachi decided that saying it to him was clearly the wrong thing to start with. Now Shisui knows he was at the football game solely for him.  _

_ "Why is that so surprising?" Itachi made it his mission to look out the window and not at Shisui. The silence returned briefly and broke again when Shisui spoke.  _

_ "You just don't strike me as someone who would waste their time on watching something like football of all things," Shisui's words were slow, almost like he was distracted by something or his focus was elsewhere. Itachi didn't make a move to look at him though.  _

_ "A bit judgmental don't you think?" Itachi laughs a bit trying not to get caught in his web of lies.  _

_ "A bit, but it is the truth." He was so sure of his answer. Itachi had to look at him. Shisui was already staring back. It made his skin itch that Shisui saw right through his façade. He knew all along and Itachi wasn't sure at that point how to react.  _

_ "Which is why you chose to spend your time in a party away from the party." He laughed lightly this time and Itachi understood why he said what he said. It wasn't what he thought of Itachi but rather it was the way he felt. Shisui was telling Itachi what he was doing up here in the first place and just like that the silence washed over them once more. Itachi sat atop the edge of the dusty window looking at the clouds trying to hide the moon's beauty.  _

_ Shisui sat next to him saying nothing further and making no attempt to leave either. Itachi wasn't sure who moved first but the next morning when he woke up he felt this strange pull in his stomach playing back the events of that night. A pull that came every time he thought of Shisui and he knew it was something he had to figure out.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait, promise the next update will be sooner. Hope you enjoy :)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back on my angst bs. I hope I was missed. Anyways, this is a long journey so I hope you guys enjoy the ride along. Welcome :)


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